Ramblings from a Twisted Mind: A Good Guard Dog?
August 4, 2009 in Humour/CommentaryIf you have a home studio or a lot of gear, you want to protect that property. You could buy insurance through a musicians' group. You could ask the police how to burglar-proof your home. Or, you could do what Bill does. Bill is the owner of Crazy Bill's Recording Studio and Urine Analysis*, and he was happy to share his home security tips.
Bill: Any studio owner will say the first line of defense is razor wire.
Twisted Girl: A fence with razor wire at the top? Isn't that a little much for a suburban neighbourhood?
B: That's why I opted for coils of razor wire strung along the ground. It's more attractive, and it's my way of warning people about the landmines.
TG: Landmines? Is that legal?
B: As long as nobody trespasses, no one will ever have to know about them.
TG: What happens if someone does break in?
B: I stand guard over this equipment 24 hours a day, prepared to defend it with a fantastic collection of ninja weapons.
TG: You have to sleep sometime.
B: You'd be surprised what happens when you chase raw coffee grounds with Jolt™. I've been awake since 1985. I dare people to break into my house. I'm ready. I'm waiting. Bring it on.
Although Bill hasn't actually recorded anything in over 15 years, his gear will always be there - and isn't that the important thing?
*name changed for legal reasons