Ramblings from a Twisted Mind: Going Green

by SaskMusic

August 26, 2013 in Humour/Commentary

If you don’t want to distribute your music exclusively online,
but you still want a green way to sell your songs, what
do you do? Since I know you’ve been wondering about this,
probably losing sleep and not eating and generally ruining
your health with worry, I found a few local musicians who
have been exploring sustainable ways of producing CDs and
asked them how they’re doing it.
Twisted Girl: Unnamed musician number one, I have heard
that your latest CD comes in completely green packaging.
Unnamed Musician Number One: That’s right. I’m very
proud of it. Here’s a copy.
TG: This is…green.
UMNO: Yes it is.
TG: I mean, it’s a normal CD package, jewel case, liner
notes…it’s just green.
UMNO: It was easy to get green artwork made up, you
know? I told the designer I wanted green on green. But getting
green jewel cases was tough. You might have noticed,
it’s almost more of an aqua. It’s a little hard to read, too, but
it’s worth it to know I did something good for the planet.
TG: Uh huh. Unnamed musician number two, what about
your green CD?
Unnamed Musician Number Two: I’ve long been concerned
about the materials in the CDs themselves, not just the packaging.
Someday, millions of teenage girls are going to realize
that they’ve been listening to Miley Cyrus when they
could have been listening to music instead, and then what?
All those CDs hit the landfills. So I’m trying to start a trend of
biodegradable CDs.
TG: Are your CDs made of a special kind of plastic?
UMNT: No. They’re made of good, old-fashioned wood.
TG: I didn’t know you could do that.
UNMT: CD manufacturers will tell you it’s impossible, but
they get kickbacks from the plastic industry. I didn’t need
them, anyway. I carved my CDs myself.
TG: You have your own CD manufacturing facility?
UNMT: You could call it that. I call it a jigsaw and a penknife.
TG: Wow. How’s the sound quality?
UNMT: Sometimes you have to make small sacrifices for the
environment. They probably don’t sound like regular CDs.
TG: Don’t you know how they sound?
UNMT: Well, no. I can’t find a CD player that will play them.
But CD players use power, anyway. Not being playable is another
way my CD saves the Earth.
TG: Unnamed musicians, you are both incredible people.
UNMO/UNMT: Thank you.
If you need Twisted Girl for anything, you can find her carving
her own wood CDs and painting them green.

- Twisted Girl